Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Choose Freedom From Self Defeat
I think we all know what self defeat is. It is when we persist in doing something that not only is not working but can not work or will not work in the future. We are so personally invested in the situation that we refuse to cut our losses and free our selves. We remain in denial about the situation and never move forward.
This can be about jobs, relationships, money or even health issues. Currently its about my truck. I've been refusing to believe that it needs to be replaced even after I've been stranded with it four times in the last two weeks. The mechanic says the truck is not worth fixing and I'm in a tight spot. I need to listen and I need to move forward. If I had been willing to let go of the truck as soon as it started giving me trouble I could have saved myself almost $400. Now its too late for that. I put money into it that I shouldn't have. It still won't run and never will.
Sound familiar? I'm sure something like this happens to everyone sooner or later. Perhaps the better question is why? Why do we stay on the boat until it is sinking? Does some misplaced loyalty demand we go down with the ship?
My first marriage was the same way. I would never have left if she hadn't. I would have put up with pure hell for the rest of my life just to do the "right thing" for my children. It turns out that getting a divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Still I was forced into it. It was not something I would have done on my own.
How can we choose freedom from self defeat? I don't have a good answer. Maybe there isn't one. What I can say is that if you are putting out tremendous effort and not getting back anything in return something is wrong. That is a big red flag that needs to be paid attention to. It doesn't matter how emotionally attatched or invested we are. If nothing is coming back we need to seriously evaluate the wisdom of continuing the present course of action.
Jobs and employment have always been a weak area in my life. I am a hard worker and often work two jobs to make ends meet. Still, in the past I have always worked at jobs that were physically and emotionally draining to the point where I would not have the energy to do anything on my days off. I've also always been drawn to jobs where I was over qualified for the work I was doing.
My wife, Annie told me there are good jobs. She said I didn't need to put up with high stress and low paying jobs. She did her best to tell me that I was putting up with things I didn't need to put up with. I like my recent job or rather both of my current jobs even though the pay is modest. I'm good at what I do and respected. I also have good relationships with co-workers. I also have the freedom to do what I love the most, writing on the internet! This is actually a third job for me.
In the evenings when I get home I have enough energy to do things I want to do. This is a blessing that I had forgotten existed. Life is still hard but I am doing many of the things I love to do. That is the highest freedom of all.
Things may not be entirely the way I would like them but I am certainly moving toward some important goals. I am not currently a victim of self defeat.
Anarchist World Live Join the Revolution today! Online rss community of free men and free women. Let Freedom Ring!
This can be about jobs, relationships, money or even health issues. Currently its about my truck. I've been refusing to believe that it needs to be replaced even after I've been stranded with it four times in the last two weeks. The mechanic says the truck is not worth fixing and I'm in a tight spot. I need to listen and I need to move forward. If I had been willing to let go of the truck as soon as it started giving me trouble I could have saved myself almost $400. Now its too late for that. I put money into it that I shouldn't have. It still won't run and never will.
Sound familiar? I'm sure something like this happens to everyone sooner or later. Perhaps the better question is why? Why do we stay on the boat until it is sinking? Does some misplaced loyalty demand we go down with the ship?
My first marriage was the same way. I would never have left if she hadn't. I would have put up with pure hell for the rest of my life just to do the "right thing" for my children. It turns out that getting a divorce was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Still I was forced into it. It was not something I would have done on my own.
How can we choose freedom from self defeat? I don't have a good answer. Maybe there isn't one. What I can say is that if you are putting out tremendous effort and not getting back anything in return something is wrong. That is a big red flag that needs to be paid attention to. It doesn't matter how emotionally attatched or invested we are. If nothing is coming back we need to seriously evaluate the wisdom of continuing the present course of action.
Jobs and employment have always been a weak area in my life. I am a hard worker and often work two jobs to make ends meet. Still, in the past I have always worked at jobs that were physically and emotionally draining to the point where I would not have the energy to do anything on my days off. I've also always been drawn to jobs where I was over qualified for the work I was doing.
My wife, Annie told me there are good jobs. She said I didn't need to put up with high stress and low paying jobs. She did her best to tell me that I was putting up with things I didn't need to put up with. I like my recent job or rather both of my current jobs even though the pay is modest. I'm good at what I do and respected. I also have good relationships with co-workers. I also have the freedom to do what I love the most, writing on the internet! This is actually a third job for me.
In the evenings when I get home I have enough energy to do things I want to do. This is a blessing that I had forgotten existed. Life is still hard but I am doing many of the things I love to do. That is the highest freedom of all.
Things may not be entirely the way I would like them but I am certainly moving toward some important goals. I am not currently a victim of self defeat.
Anarchist World Live Join the Revolution today! Online rss community of free men and free women. Let Freedom Ring!
Who knows why one person gives up and dies while another struggles on through overwhelming odds and comes out on top? We all want to survive. But are we willing to do what needs to be done?
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# posted by anarchistbanjo @ 2:58 PM 
