Wednesday, December 27, 2006
You can not change what you do not recognize
We are completely unaware of most of our self defeating behaviors. If we knew what they were it would be easier to build defenses against them. Some of these come out or our blind spots. Several years ago I learned I had disabilities that were affecting my life.
I went to Vocational Rehab and took some tests and evaluations to find out why I was over forty years old and still having trouble making my life work. These evaluations showed that I had an auditory learning disability. I had trouble processing too much verbal material at one time. Once the material was learned I was fine but learning through listening did not work well for me.
Another issue was short term memory loss due to a head injury as a teenager. It was not bad but where the normal person can hold five items in short term memory I struggle to hold four. As I get older I need to write things down even more than ever. My fine motor skills are also lower than average. I scored an 80%. Why was I always attracted to jobs that needed nimble fingers? I was sinking my own ship.
Now let's combine this with a personality that has trouble with authority figures and a slight tendency toward passive agressive behavior and see what we get. Memories flash of an employer getting angry at me because I didn't understand what I was supposed to do and I would forget things that I was told. I couldn't remember them all. It also seemed like I was working too slowly even though I couldn't work any faster. I wouldn't ask for help or clarification because I didn't want to appear stupid.
I am not stupid but I was appearing stupid and couldn't understand why I kept having problems. Getting these evaluations were a life saver for me. They helped me understand why I was having troubles and also what my strengths were as well. I have a genius IQ and a near photographic memory for visual things. I take tests well. I have very good communication skills and high mechanical aptitude. I am very good at outside the box thinking and administrative tasks. I have a good understanding of human nature and people trust me.
Let's take physical health as another example. Do you know just how healthy or unhealthy you are? Last year I discovered I have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. Both were fairly severe. I will need to be on blood pressure medication and a CPAP machine for sleeping the rest of my life.
I was not really aware of any of these things. I assumed other people had many of the same problems and issues. I thought it was just as hard for them as it was for me. I didn't want to believe there was something wrong with me. I wanted to be just a good as the next person. I did not recognize my own limitations.
The trouble was that my life was not working and I was into middle age. What about your life? If it is working great! If it is not working it might be wise to take a few minutes and think about why. Take a few examinations, talk to some friends and experts. Get second opinions. Discover what your blind spots are. We all have them.
If you are running into a brick wall perhaps you are going in the wrong direction even if you feel it is the right direction. The biggest thing anyone can recognize is when they are putting out tremendous effort and it is not working. One of the great secrets in life is to take what works and turn it into the things you want. The things that don't work will never turn into anything except more failures.
Let go of the things that don't work and focus on the things that do work. When you are refreshed and full of successful energy tackle those old issues and interests from positions of strength and not weakness. In the area of relationships realize that no matter how much one person might want things to work out, both people need to want it. Both people need to work at it. If only one person is trying the relationship is already lost.
If you are not getting some type of reward or gain from the effort you put out something is wrong. This is a red flag that you need to recognize. When you continue doing what you are doing you will continue to get the results that you are getting. Evaluate the results you are getting and determine if they are enough.
Anarchist World Live Join the Revolution today! Online rss community of free men and free women. Let Freedom Ring!
I went to Vocational Rehab and took some tests and evaluations to find out why I was over forty years old and still having trouble making my life work. These evaluations showed that I had an auditory learning disability. I had trouble processing too much verbal material at one time. Once the material was learned I was fine but learning through listening did not work well for me.
Another issue was short term memory loss due to a head injury as a teenager. It was not bad but where the normal person can hold five items in short term memory I struggle to hold four. As I get older I need to write things down even more than ever. My fine motor skills are also lower than average. I scored an 80%. Why was I always attracted to jobs that needed nimble fingers? I was sinking my own ship.
Now let's combine this with a personality that has trouble with authority figures and a slight tendency toward passive agressive behavior and see what we get. Memories flash of an employer getting angry at me because I didn't understand what I was supposed to do and I would forget things that I was told. I couldn't remember them all. It also seemed like I was working too slowly even though I couldn't work any faster. I wouldn't ask for help or clarification because I didn't want to appear stupid.
I am not stupid but I was appearing stupid and couldn't understand why I kept having problems. Getting these evaluations were a life saver for me. They helped me understand why I was having troubles and also what my strengths were as well. I have a genius IQ and a near photographic memory for visual things. I take tests well. I have very good communication skills and high mechanical aptitude. I am very good at outside the box thinking and administrative tasks. I have a good understanding of human nature and people trust me.
Let's take physical health as another example. Do you know just how healthy or unhealthy you are? Last year I discovered I have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. Both were fairly severe. I will need to be on blood pressure medication and a CPAP machine for sleeping the rest of my life.
I was not really aware of any of these things. I assumed other people had many of the same problems and issues. I thought it was just as hard for them as it was for me. I didn't want to believe there was something wrong with me. I wanted to be just a good as the next person. I did not recognize my own limitations.
The trouble was that my life was not working and I was into middle age. What about your life? If it is working great! If it is not working it might be wise to take a few minutes and think about why. Take a few examinations, talk to some friends and experts. Get second opinions. Discover what your blind spots are. We all have them.
If you are running into a brick wall perhaps you are going in the wrong direction even if you feel it is the right direction. The biggest thing anyone can recognize is when they are putting out tremendous effort and it is not working. One of the great secrets in life is to take what works and turn it into the things you want. The things that don't work will never turn into anything except more failures.
Let go of the things that don't work and focus on the things that do work. When you are refreshed and full of successful energy tackle those old issues and interests from positions of strength and not weakness. In the area of relationships realize that no matter how much one person might want things to work out, both people need to want it. Both people need to work at it. If only one person is trying the relationship is already lost.
If you are not getting some type of reward or gain from the effort you put out something is wrong. This is a red flag that you need to recognize. When you continue doing what you are doing you will continue to get the results that you are getting. Evaluate the results you are getting and determine if they are enough.
Anarchist World Live Join the Revolution today! Online rss community of free men and free women. Let Freedom Ring!
Who knows why one person gives up and dies while another struggles on through overwhelming odds and comes out on top? We all want to survive. But are we willing to do what needs to be done?
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# posted by anarchistbanjo @ 5:03 PM 
